Monogrammed Mom

Hang on, it's a long post

Here I am at the end of my spring break. It's been a busy week as usual.  I have some homework to complete and a test to study for.  That's on this evening's agenda.  I thought I would have so much more time to do things but I did not.  If I did have an empty week it would consist of:  painting our bedroom, painting the upstairs bathroom, finishing the trim in the basement, picking up extra shifts at work, starting a running routine, visiting the Metropolitan Museum of Art , cleaning out the office closet, spring cleaning my closet/drawers and whatever else catches my fancy. 
I am a wishy washy person.  I change my mind many times. I think too much sometimes and not in enough at other times.  Example:  for over two years I've wanted an elliptical.  We bought one last night (a really nice one) and then we canceled the order because we've decided to complete our living room.  We also reconfigured the living room. I tried to return a chair that we don't need for an extra piece for our sectional but because it was a special order they said no.  Plus, we are going to do more IUI's in the summer (because school is too much right now to deal with yucky side effects of C.lomid and really mean cycles from AF). 
One thing that I'm sure of is wanting another child.  I want Elisabeth to have a sibling and I want to experience pregnancy with Michael.  I am an only child and so is my Mom.  We both agree that it SUCKS.  Time is not on our side. With me being 32 and Michael being a couple years older than me, our odds are decreasing with each passing year.  We want to enjoy our children while we are relatively young.  Plus it would be nice to have a child now so that there isn't too wide of a gap between her/him and Elisabeth.  This is our third year of trying.  I hope that this summer one of the IUI's works.  I don't think that is too much to ask.
I'm completely stressed with my one class.  I am trying very hard to get an A in it but I don't know.  I put in so much time and effort and I'm not seeing A results.  Not that I'm doing horrible in it. But I have to do stellar on the rest of my tests and projects to get an A.  My teacher gave us a quiz on a book that he did not teach in class (it was an outside reading assignment).  When he realized how many of us did poorly, he gave us extra credit.  There is actually a lot of extra credit offered in this class.  A professor once told me that if a teacher is always offering extra credit, than he is either a poor teacher or his class is too hard.
I look forward to being done with school and having a real job.  The restaurant business is getting bad tip wise.  I blame the rising cost of, well, everything.  Oil effects the cost of living. I hope that an end is in sight, even though "experts" are saying otherwise.  When is enough?
The results of my physical were very good.  My cholesterol was 151, my HDL was 53 my thyroid was in range, my heart rate was good, my pressure was good.  I was very happy with my results. 

Here are some pictures of the new living room (furniture and paint) and the newly repainted foyer;

I am very happy with the furniture (very comfortable and the fabric is like a chenille) and wall color (Davenport Tan from B.enjamin Moore).   I'm going to fill our picture frames and get those hung on the wall.  Well, Michael will be doing the hanging of frames.

This is another color from Ben Moore called Wethersfield Moss.  We needed a darker color with the high traffic. I liked the previous color called Barley (a mustard color) but that wasn't cutting it. Elisabeth was thrilled to help with painting.
Sorry for not posting often.  I've been tired from the flu and school is wearing me out too.

 

Hello Friday

It is bitter cold here today.  It is supposed to be getting warmer in a couple of days.  Bundle up!!
I'm waiting for my floors to dry and I have two baskets of clothes to put away.  I have work at 4 tonight.  I'm trying to be productive.  Does writing a new post count as productive?
I've been saying novenas to St. Theresa now for quite some time (to help with getting pregnant) and a very good friend of mine sends me an email with her prayer in it.  I'm taking that as a sign.  A good sign.
I made some very yummy chocolate chip molasses cookies yesterday.  I love molasses.  When we went shopping I stayed at the deli counter with Elisabeth and Michael went to gather the rest of the items on our list. He comes back and says, "There are different kinds of molasses:  mild or full flavored." I knew his question was going to be which one and I immediately said, "Full flavored."  Of course.

Here is the recipe:

Chocolate Chip Cookies With Molasses

3 cups plus 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup unsalted butter — (2 sticks) softened
1 cup granulated sugar
2/3 cup packed light brown sugar  -- I used dark brown sugar
2 large eggs
1/4 c molasses
1 tablespoon pure vanilla extract
2 cups chocolate chips — (one 12-ounce bag)
1 cup chopped walnuts

Combine the flour, baking soda, and salt in a medium mixing bowl.

In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, cream together the butter, granulated sugar and brown sugar until thoroughly combined. Beat in the eggs, molasses and vanilla, scraping down the sides of the bowl once or twice as necessary. Stir in the flour mixture until just incorporated. Then stir in the chocolate chips and walnuts. Place the bowl in the refrigerator and allow the dough to chill for 1 hour.

Preheat the oven to 400 F. Line several baking sheets with parchment paper or Silpat pads.

Drop heaping tablespoons or No. 40 ice-cream scoops of the dough 2 inches apart on the prepared baking sheets, flattening them slightly by hand. (Balls of dough may be placed next to each other on parchment-lined baking sheet, frozen, transferred to zipper-lock plastic bags, and stored in the freezer for up to 1 month. Place frozen cookies on prepared sheets as above, and defrost on the counter for 30 minutes before baking.)

Bake until just light golden, 8 to 10 minutes. Cool the cookies for 5 minutes on the baking sheets before using a metal spatula to transfer them to a wire rack to cool completely. Chocolate Chip Cookies will keep in an airtight container for 2 to 3 days.

They are dark, chewy and delicious!!!

My Mom and Dad

Sara at Decemberbaby inspired me to write about my parents. 
My Mom and Dad are the best.  I was lucky to grow up in a very loving household.  They loved me, respected me and allowed me to be who I was.  I was a quirky only child and that was ok by them. 
They still loved me through my terrible teens.  I had such a mouth and a no parents party on Dec 3, 1991 that they really could have put me away for. 
They supported in all my ventures.  I ran on the Track and Cross Country (CC) teams and I was very slow.  So slow that almost every time I came in last (one race I did not come in last was because the other team got lost.  My fellow teammate's father offered to call my Dad in case he didn't believe me).  I was a member of Greepeace and the World Wildlife Fund. I also became a vegetarian (I started eating meat after I graduated high school.  I told my Dad and he said, "Susan, there's nothing wrong with eating meat. The day after my issue of Vegetarian Times came).
They loved me unconditionally: I wore black and listened to the Cure. I cut my hair short and shaved the back of my head. Ellen, Mollie and myself took a trip to Fastlanes II in Asbury Park, NJ to see the Mighty Mighty Bosstones without my parents knowing (I was 18 yrs old). 
As I got older I began to realize that, "hey, these people might just know something about the real world."  I realized that I did not know everything like I thought I did when I was a  teenager.  I apologize to my parents for my awful behavior. 
They were also supportive and sympathetic when the world was harsh.  I improved my time by a couple of minutes my junior year on CC and I thought I had earned the Most Improved Runner award at our banquet. I didn't get it.  My parents had a trophy made for me with "Most Improved Runner" beneath my name.  That was awesome.  I tried out for my high school cheerleading team.  I didn't make it.  I then tried out for the mascot.  I didn't make it.  I sat underneath the dining room table and cried.  My Mom came home from work because I was so upset.  That meant a lot to me. High school is hard.  No doubt about it.  I had fun but I would not want to go back.
My parents taught me about love, respect and doing the right thing.  It took awhile to catch on but it did.  My Mom jokes that I didn't wise up until I was 30.
Thank you Mom and Dad for letting me live.  I love you and I think you're the best!!!! 

I can see it

My last project is due today.  Thank goodness. I do not have a final for this class and this project counts as our final.  I'm so happy to be almost done.

This is also a finish line I hope to someday come across.  One of my goals is to run the Boston Marathon.

The glow of electric sex...

We are getting ready for Christmas.  Elisabeth, Collin and Hailey (I watched our friends' kids so they could move in their appliances.  They built right next door to us) decorated our trees.  I'm not changing any of the ornaments. They did a very nice job.  I still have some delicate ornaments to add along with the garland and tree topper.  We are going to have a tree in the basement.  We are planning to move our big tv down there and get an elliptical (I'm so excited about that!!  Sweating while watching tv is a good time).  I thought it would be nice to have some decorations down there.
The house is a bit of a mess now.  I have one more major project for school and a final next Tuesday and then I'm done.  Our teacher was really gong ho on projects, portfolios and hours for observation. Elementary Education is a very time consuming major.  I'm glad I only had two classes because I don't think I could handle more.  My goal for tomorrow is after Elisabeth and I get done with school to straighten up, put away clothes and decorate some more.  A lot of goals I know. 
Here is the Susan story of the day.  I was printing out my paper for tonight's class and our printer ran out of ink.  No problem.  I have to check on Marnie (My 18 yr old cat that resides with my parents.  She came from the SPCA. don't get her said my mom. She looks sickly.  She's sleeping in her food dish. yeah. Okay) and I sent my paper to my email so I could print it out down there.  Driving down 81 and I realized I forgot my keys to their house.  Alrighty then.  I called Tracy. She'll let me print out my paper at her house and then I'll go to Staples and get it bound ( I love that. It looks so classy).  She's out of ink too.  I called Christina (She procrastinates too.  Ask her about her 24 page paper due for her doctorate class. Go ahead)  and she told me that you can email your paper to them and they will print it out for you.  I do just that.  In the meantime I called my parent's neighbors and left a message.  If need be I'll drive home and get the keys and go back down. I check on Marnie every other day.  I get to my second class and I find out we are getting out super early:  7:15 pm.  That is terrific news!!  I get out and call the neighbors again.  They do have a key.  All is well in the land of five mountains.  I fed Marnie and cleaned out her litter box.  I'm always afraid I'm going to find her dead.  I don't know what I would do.  Especially now since the ground is frozen.  With all the pets I've had I've never found one that went to heaven.  I would be really sad. 
Michael and Elisabeth went to look at trains at a store in W-B.  Then they find out they were leaking air out of one of the tires.  They had to leave and make it home before it went flat.  They did.  I know they both love trains and were looking forward to their visit.  Michael asked Elisabeth what her favorite part of the day was (her cousin came over and they were playing in the basement. I set up the monitor for Michael.  He told me that he could hear them making plans to try to get junk food.  They were going to communicate using walkie talkie's) the flat tire.  I guess all that excitement made that the best part.
We watched A Christmas Story the other day. I love that movie.  There are so many good lines in that movie:  "Randy layed there like a slug. It was his only defense" and "the glow of electric sex from the window" and "a crummy commercial? sonofabitch".  We bought Elisabeth Shrek 3 and The Polar Express for her stocking stuffers.  She really enjoyed the Polar Express movie.  I was surprised that she liked it so much because it seemed a little old for her.
I'm off to enjoy Nip/Tuck with my husband.  He offered me a beer but I'm on the 2WW.  I'm hoping the old fashioned way worked this time.
I so do enjoy pictures in blogs.  That's why I usually post with one.

You're at home too?

Hello there.  I'm home also on a Saturday night.  It was another jam packed day. Swim lessons, packing the dishes away, cleaning and laundry.  I'm just plain pooped.  I will be taking a quick shower and then I'm headed off to bed. 
Thanksgiving was wonderful.  Our families really enjoyed themselves. And the food was out of this world.  I'm so glad that my family is full of good cooks.  Thank you for bringing your delicious food!!!

Update on the IF front:
Our IUI did not work.  Aunt Flo was supposed to show up on Saturday but she came on Wednesday instead.  That bitch.  Doesn't she know that she's not welcome here anymore?  We're probably going to try another IUI again.  We'll see.
I'm disappointed. It seemed the day we did our IUI everything worked out.  Even though my gyn was being realistic, telling me that it will probably not work,  I had hope and faith.  I thought for sure it worked.  Being on this IF rollercoaster is for the birds.  I am trying to be optimistic but after two years of trying and nothing to show for it I'm just sad and depressed.  I wish we had the money that we could do cycle after cycle of IVF with ICSI until it worked.  It is just so much money to spend on something with no guarantees.  One healthy baby. That's all we want.  We have a wonderful home and are able to care for another child.  Elisabeth would be a fantastic big sister.  Funny how people who don't want to have babies get pregnant. And let's not get me started on all the turkeys that get pregnant.  That makes me sick to no end.  I know life isn't fair, but this just plain sucks.  I do hope that this will all end on a happy note.  People say I should be happy I have a beautiful daughter.  And I am.  Very grateful for her.  But that doesn't change how I feel about having another baby.  Secondary Infertility is for the birds too.  I just keep praying and hoping and believing that our time is right around the corner.

I will also be back on Weight Watchers tomorrow.  I really did not do too bad considering all the goodies we had.  My goal weight is 135 and I don't have that far to go.  It is a reachable goal I just have to get in the right mindset.

Thank you for listening.

Musings

Today I spent time with the reading specialist at my school.  It was very busy.  The kids had a half day because of parent/teacher conferences and only had 25 mins. to spend with her.   I really enjoyed it. I believe I will be getting my master's in reading.  I love reading and I think I would be really good at helping children with sounding out words, vocabulary and fluency. I had lunch with my kids.  I sat with one little boy who is the spitting image of my cousin Walter.  And guess what his last name is?  Rutkowski!!  I met a lady who helps out in the cafeteria named Miss Claire.  I did find out from the reading specialist that my school frowns on parents volunteers.  They feel that information will be taken out of context.  Maybe they had a bad experience but I believe that volunteers are a good thing.  Sure you may have to set down guidelines but to help out a teacher and allow them to focus just on teaching is a wonderful thing. Much better for the kids if you ask me. 

I took a nap today.  It was very nice but too short. Kona and Michael joined me. I believe Logan took a nap on Elisabeth's bed.

I was supposed to have work today. But for some odd reason I was not scheduled. I spoke to one of my asshat (I really like that word) managers and he said he'd make a note of it.  Our good manager tore a tendon and will be out.  Sucks for us.

So, I did dishes, emptied the dishwater, started a load of laundry, put away clothes, surfed the internet, read up on all my blogs and now I'm posting. 

I am still around 146 pounds.  I have been eating okay (with a cupcake or two thrown in) but I'm not exercising everyday like I should.  I'm so tired and I'm not a morning person.  I told Michael that if I'm ever diagnosed with amnesia that he is to tell me I'm a morning person.  That I LOVE THE MORNING!!!! and I RUN 5 MILES EVERYDAY!!!  I said I'm serious. And he's like okay (thinking crazy person.  who comes up with this stuff?  I DO!!)  If I exercised in the morning I would have enough energy to do the exercise and I would get it done and over with. 

I have all my clearances (child abuse clearance--$10, criminal background check--$10, fingerprinting WTF?  $40--this is new as of April 2007) and an application to be a TSS (Therapeutic Staff Support).  Basically you are helping a child with some sort of behavior problem.  They get paid really well.  A friend of mine has done it for two years.  I'm thinking of doing that next year when Elisabeth is in school full time.  The only downside is when school is out for the summer I wouldn't have any work.  Back to my suck serving job in the summer.   I long for weekends/holidays off, delays, etc.  - we'll see.

As for my 2WW I feel very tired. My uterus feels busy. But is that conception or an infection?  I had some bleeding (bright red) but not a lot. I like to think I'm pregnant.  Hell, every month I get delusional and think I'm pregnant.  Sometimes I can be very optimistic.  Everything worked out for our IUI.  My dad had Elisabeth (I thought I was going to have to bring her with me.  Wouldn't that have been interesting?)  And if I get pregnant I would be due the beginning of August (peridot. how pretty.) and I could wear my maternity clothes from my pregnancy from Elisabeth. 

Season 4 of Project Runway starts tonight at 10pm!!  I got addicted to this show while in Key West.  A local guy, Jay McCarroll , won the first season. My Dad met him in Wegman's (I think last year) and said hello.  He asked Jay if he's worried that people will mob him and Jay responds, "These bodunks?  They don't know me from anyone else."  I thought that was funny and nice of my Dad to say hello. My Dad used to watch Style by Elsa Clench. He became quite the fashion expert.

I hope to make it to 10 to watch Project Runway!!

For my girls doing the Challenge:  Keep up the good work and I know you can do it!!!

The Volcano Girls

Today Elisabeth and I both had off from school.  We hung out in our jammies for half a day.  We made a fort in the living, she started a club called "The Volcano Girls", and we played in the basement.  It was a very nice start to our day off together.  We went shopping to Target and Old Navy.  Elisabeth got new shirts, pajamas and track pants.  I got new socks.
I have good news.  Cristina and Nick's baby is healthy!!!  She had her ultrasound today. And she wrote that her baby is healthy.  Thank God!!!  Yay!!!

Hello Friday

So WW is going well.  I've made both brownies and cookies and did not go overboard.  I'm keeping up with healthy eating/portioning and doing at least a half hour of cardio a day. 
Today I took the dogs for a half hour walk and then I went on an hour powerwalk by myself and did hand weight exercises for my arms.  I'm really liking my new body. I am feeling more comfortable in my skin.  I look forward to wearing my smaller size clothes.
I wish you all an enjoyable weekend.  Thank you to my Mom and Karen for your last comments.  I'm glad you enjoy this blog.  It really is theraputic.  And to think my Dad and myself used to tease my Mom.  She's always right!

I know how to make it rain

There is this phenomena we experience in Avoca.  The news says we're going to be getting rain.  It will rain. Everywhere but here. I've joked with Michael that there is a bubble over Avoca. 
Until now.  I've learned that by putting up a pool and wanting to go swimming in it very badly will make it rain here. Amazing. 

Elisabeth is sick. Stuffy nose and feeling yucky.  I've set up her humidifier and rubbed her chest with Vicks.  She fell asleep while we were going over our letter of the day for tomorrow: M.  "You're middle name Mari begins with the letter M!", I tell her.  I'm waiting for a response. Nothing. I look at her and she's already drifted off to the land of Nod.  I wish I could fall asleep that fast. She didn't have a good night sleeping. And she was up early.

I saw my doctor today. He had to fill out my health form for Bloom and I had a list of problems/questions to go over with him.  He's ordering blood work and an MRI.  The main point on my list was my back.  I feel so old getting up in the morning. It hurts.  Alot.  Trying to sit down to go to the bathroom hurts.  I just don't think I should be having this problem at my age. I work out:  hand weights, stability ball, pilates, yoga, running, walking with Elisabeth in the jogging stroller, tae bo.  Eating mostly right ( I love raw dough.  cookie and cake batter.)  We'll figure out the problem.

I'm going to bed now.  It is still raining.  Grow grass grow!! 

I do have good news. Not huge but a start. I tested positive on my OPK.  I am now ovulating on my own. How cool is that!!!